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Pulled aside and asked to wait
If I leave, they take me right back
“You’re staying here for many years
And you will not leave.”
And I can’t get out.
“Welcome home
This is your home now.”
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2. |
Ranting Prophet
04:50
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Once you’re here, you’ll fall apart
Build a life – a work of art
There’s too much here to comprehend
Very soon, we all begin to
Pretend that we’re somewhere else
You can never stop this
Fighting it is worthless
All of your objections
Are powerless before it
You cannot outrun this
Can never escape this
Just know it will get you
Everything will get you
Surrounded by the wounded
Soon you will become one
Trying to find solace
In any place you can so
Turning to the trashed life
Cue intoxication
Turning to religion
Now its time to worship.
You have bowed enough now
Get up off your knees
Praying will not save you
From what lies around you
Disappear in movies
Various addictions
Every single dogma
None of it has substance
You are terrified but
You think there’s a way out
There is not a way out
You are in denial
You cannot escape this
Can’t run away from this
You cannot prevent this
You can never stop this
(Keep trying?) You are doomed to fight this battle alone (Give up!)
(Accept this) You are not allowed to give up and go home (enough)
(To live out) Reconcile or escalate, let go (your life)
(In peace not) Sheath your sword and maybe you’ll make it through (in fright)
Once you’re gone, you fall apart
The arguments become an art
The voices start and won’t relent
We’ve become addicted to
Pretending we’re somewhere else
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3. |
Fear of Humanity
08:01
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I’m afraid of humans
I wonder if they’re afraid of me
They grow here like tumors
I wonder if that’s how they see me
Short breaths
Cold stares
Drifting fever in the air
Feet move
Fluorescence bright
They reappear tonight
I’m afraid of tumors
They’re trying to make them grow in me
Distorting all my humors
The chemical ooze surrounding me
Harsh coughs
Cruel laughs
Sickness spills out from your mouth
A wordless noise
Please let me be alone
Lost in an endless city where smog obstructs the sky
The earth breathes in the fumes that will cause us all to die
The entities surround me
Their smiles filled with despair
Their eyes empty reflections of thick and clouded air
Amid the hulks of houses
You won’t find any mirth
Just lusty old skyscrapers which penetrate the Earth
And from between the cracks in the only world you know
A host of beings seeps through from where you want to go
I am forever trapped here
This urban hell remains
With all spectres sustained by a deadly white cocaine
And I cannot return to the place where I come from
When all the walls that trap me secrete a sickly scum
We must break through
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4. |
My Alien Father
04:46
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Noah’s ark
Alien submarine
They left us
But return to visit
Abductions happen at night
Will they return us alive?
They made us
Just to mine their gold
Now they hide
Shapeshifters control us
The truth is out there for us to find
Keep looking, we might run out of time
They’re out there
They watch us
Where are you?
I’ve been waiting and waiting
Please greet me
What have they placed inside my brain?
I am called to their homing beacon
Will you enslave my body and mind?
Or will you cure me, bring me to life?
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5. |
Retreat Underground
02:38
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RUN – It’s time to leave this place behind
RUN – It isn’t safe on ground or sky
RUN – There’s nothing left for me out here
RUN – I need a safe place, free from fear
HEY, YOU – STOP! They will not let me run away
STOP! They give me no choice but to stay
STOP! I’ll go where I cannot be found
STOP! It’s time to retreat underground
Walk beside me, Asteroth
Lead me away from the lost
Digging holes to use for transit
We will live beneath the dirt
Walk beside me, Metatron
Can you shelter me for long?
I’ll crawl back into the womb now (So warm inside)
I descend into the Earth (I’ll lie within)
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6. |
Subway Dwellers
05:32
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Old subway station lies empty yet restless
Train lines wind endless below crooked streets
Here we hide
I hope they don’t find us here
But I feel they’re always near
Something’s wrong
Bodies without faces bustle into subway cars
The metal doors close on them and they’re trapped behind bars
Rust colors prevail, mostly shrouded in shadows
And the walls are lit by a faint orange glow
Our warmth
A man comes from behind
He says he’s gonna die
Please get lost
How many of us hide here in that scant and feeble light?
The tunnel dwellers shun us and we travel in fright
We can’t think up original sins when we’re safe
This safety isn’t shelter
It’s so cold
The tracks bend under spinning wheels and the lights melt the walls
Foundation pillars crumble, but the ceiling stays up
The station folds in on itself so you cannot ever leave
You’re trapped as your small world falls apart
The traincar leaves the station crashing into endless dark
It returns exactly at the time it starts to embark
Time goes around in circles and the days are all the same
Our senses have all vanished and we’ve never felt the rain
(And we can’t get out)
Why should we be trapped by our own making?
Why should we step back and let this happen?
Whose idea was all of this? Someone tell me please…
Could you talk a little louder cause I can’t hear what you really mean…
Could you talk a little louder cause I can’t hear you at all
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7. |
Defense Highway
10:48
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I wander through memories (My only friends)
A maze of places I’ve been (I’m lost in here)
Tunnels leading to rooms within (The senses disconnected)
But I can’t find you, no matter how hard I look
Because I can’t find my way back to the present
I am trapped so deep inside myself that
My eyes cannot see what is before me
Time and space have both lost all their meaning
One door opens while others are closing
I walk through but don’t know where it’s leading
Moving through my past to find connections
That I’d given up long ago
Bury myself deep inside
Living only half alive
Disoriented, looming threats increasing fright
Automatic, the defenses trigger smiles
Retreat! Alarm! (Turn back now)
I can hear them!
I can see them!
I have to hide!
Get me out of here!
I cannot hide if I do not know where I am!
And if they find me, will I be trapped by what surrounds?!
Waiting to find something I can hold on to!
But there is nothing around me that is consistent
I need what I fear and fear what I need
Human connection
I remember alluring warnings
I opened my chest for you
And I was alive
You’re just a story now
But I’m still here, alone
Night falls and night falls again
For you, my dear, I’m waiting here
Leaves turn and time stalls within
For you, my dear, I’m waiting here
We cannot bring a life into a world of violence
But I can’t let go…
Walking and waiting
Moving and searching
Trying to find a way out
Red sky is calling
Dark clouds are hovering
No false suns blink above
Have I found a way out?
My surroundings deceive all my senses
I can’t find my way back to the present
Is this real or all just recollection?
Help me find a way out
You were standing there in dreams
Your eyes hid smiles
This room is empty now, but I’m still here
Wondering when I will return to the world of the living again
Do I even want to leave?
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8. |
Inner Sanctum
07:33
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A half-visible man sits on a chair and talks to me
My smirking friend with dead eyes
And he beckons me to come with him and leave this realm forever
He takes me to a hidden place deep inside me
As deep as I can go before I’m lost forever
Should I trust him?
His hands reach out for my hands
Offering comfort from within
I hear them lurking at my back door
Their tentacles reach out for me
I board the windows, but what if they break through?
There’s only safety in your hidden place
Please take me there
They’ll be here before the dawn
I should hide before they come
Chamber opens
“Please step in
You are safe in here
Safe from the lies of the world outside
And I’ll provide all you need
Just step inside and you’ll drift away…
Just let go…
For in here paradise awaits you forever
You will fall deep into an everlasting sleep
Goodbye…”
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9. |
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10. |
Curing Somatization
10:25
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I open my eyes to see this city collapse around me
I shut them again seeking return to the safety of sleep.
Falling rubble kills all vacancy.
Clinging to these crumbling constructs leads to nowhere.
I can hide no longer, and I can run no further.
I am surrounded by myriad beings all spewing virulent words about me.
They’re relentless. They seek to suppress me and delete my power.
I could not sleep – restless stagnation forced me out of every dead end.
Hell follows me – all of these demons have worn down every last defense.
These beings come from me.
They are my thoughts, hidden in disguises.
I’ve only been running from myself
I am here to keep myself safe from all of the people out there who will hurt me.
I am here to keep everyone safe from what is inside me.
I built this city to hide.
What if all of the words that trap me here are written on this city’s foundation?
I wander through the rubble, searching for some sort of entrance
Below the tallest building, the deepest basement is hiding
I open the door, terrified to see things I’ve locked away and have forgotten.
What makes me a threat to myself and to all those around me?
In trying to create something, I destroy what’s beautiful.
I try to save and I kill instead.
In trying to prevent sickness, I would make it manifest.
I have poisoned my own children over and over again.
I strive for love but I’m in hate’s grasp
Fear is my one form of wealth
Repeating thoughts I have magnified
Why do I torture myself?
Erosion of confusion
I forgive you for all that you have done.
Corrosion of illusion
I forgive myself for choosing hell.
This city can’t control all that I see.
This city has no power over me.
It’s taken on a life of its own.
And I can let it go.
I AM ALIVE!
Welcome home!
This is your home now.
Step outside –
You’re not alone.
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The Gabriel Construct Baltimore, Maryland
The Gabriel Construct is the rock solo project of Gabriel Lucas Riccio, a vocalist, composer and multi-instrumentalist from Salisbury, MD (currently residing in Baltimore).
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